Living Outside of Your Comfort Zone and Loving It

I did something new, different, challenging, outside my comfort zone and I lived to tell the story.

Let me backup a bit.

As a career coach, when I start any coaching relationship with a client in our first one-on-one meeting I ask her to enter into an agreement with me. In this verbal agreement, I ask her for a few things.  One important request is an eagerness to grow. So far, all the ladies have accepted with open arms. Continue Reading

17 Reasons to Give Your Career a Boost

It’s no secret that the past year has been a transformative time for women–giving power to our voice, taking matters into our own hands and supporting one another.  We must lift up every woman in 2018. You are part of this transformation.

Wondering if you are ready? Of course you are! This is the best time to talk with Career Love Collective about elevating your career, confidence and personal truth. 

17 Reasons to Give Your Career a Boost      

  1. Careers are not linear.
  2. Every woman needs support. That is what Career Love Collective is here for.
  3. Women who get to the top don’t do it alone.
  4. You deserve a career that you love.
  5. Investing in yourself is *never* a waste of time or money.
  6. You spend time defining your priorities.
  7. Resilience is built from your support system.
  8. Nothing can replace connection.
  9. Coaching programs by women, for women.
  10.  Experiment with new career ideas in safe space.  
  11. You deserve to make more money.
  12. You get personalized career advice.
  13. Coaching will take your career to the next level.   
  14. It’s okay to need help, girl–we got you!
  15. Gain real-time feedback on real-life work situations.
  16. Coaching gives accountability for real change.  
  17. Different point of views from outside perspective

Together women can change the world.

You are ready to make moves in your career. Let 2018 be your best year ever.  

Career Love Collective is on a mission to mentor women to overcome workplace challenges so they can be authentic and confident in all stages of life. Wanna chat over a latte or skype? I wanna get to know you, and what makes you…well YOU. Sign up for a free 30 minute assessment and let’s reach your goals together!

XOXO,

Jess

Top Three Lessons of 2017 – A Year in Review

Lately, emails are bombarding my inbox with promises and deals of it’s a “new year, new you”.  I can say with 100% certainty that I am still the ‘same ole’ jess’ in this new year of 2018, but the experiences in 2017 taught me valuable lessons for this new year.

A Year in Review

In 2017, I moved to a new state, went back to school, and founded a business.  As a small business owner of Career Love Collective, I grappled with NOT having a full time job (which I have always had), fear of rejection, small wins, big wins, personal failures that stung deep and successes, most of which I have difficulty recalling. What got me though this time of change is my core values and my strong personal foundation. I was really put to the test.  

So, 2017, as memory serves, you were brutal. You taught me so much that I am eternally grateful for, and because of that, I am sharing my top three lessons below:

Let Go of the Junk

People say ‘you can’t take it with you when you go’ and they aren’t kidding. Whether it is physical stuff taking up your basement and storage space, or negative people in your life, think about how much personal energy you waste by engaging in the junk. I let go of junk this year. I accepted people who will never change, I donated 90% of my stuff, I downsized my living space. The letting go was the easiest part, it’s the accepting that was the challenge. We define ourselves by our stuff, the people around us. Stuff doesn’t make us happy, people don’t make us happy. Only you make YOU happy.

Be Present

You’ve seen it. You are in a checkout line, how many people around you are looking down on their phones or have headphones plugged in? Guilty. Been there. I’ve caught myself too many times to count losing my engagement with the person in front of me. The irony is I love connecting with people. I felt I was losing touch with myself. I put the phone down in line, I talked to people, I made eye contact, I asked follow-up questions. The best compliment to date through my habit change, “You really see me”.  

Live Your Truth

Living my purpose was a scary idea. The thought of putting myself out there to my little corner of the world with Career Love Collective–I didn’t feel ready. Guess what? One day I started. I started telling people my ideas. I started feeling more sure of myself. I wrote a blog. SCARY. I shared the blog. People didn’t curse at me. COOL. I gave a voice to my truth. Career Love Collective was born from my dream of serving women everywhere my brand of leadership coaching. You can live your truth, because only you know your power.               

What did 2017 teach you? Tell me in the comments!

Career Love Collective is on a mission to empower all women to be their best self and reach their fullest potential. Wanna chat over a latte or skype? I wanna get to know you, and what makes you…well YOU. Sign up for a free 30 minute assessment and let’s reach your goals together

The Practical Guide to Working with Other Personalities

Working with people we don’t necessarily get along with is a normal part of life in an office.  I once had a coworker tell me, “I don’t have to be everyone’s best friend, I am at work.” another individual at the same company was afraid to voice their opinions for fear of offending anyone.

Continue Reading

Why it’s Absolutely Okay to Cry at Work

I am giving you permission to be yourself at work.

For some, this might be displaying family photos at your desk as a reminder of your personal priorities or going out to lunch every day to decompress from the day.

Continue Reading

Confessions of a Confident Introvert

It can be personally freeing to discover you are an introvert. Sometimes when we think of people who are introverted, we wrongly stereotype them as people who don’t like other people. This stereotype is further from the truth. Most introverts are warm, interested in others, and powerful in their own right.

Continue Reading

[FREE WEBINAR] Discover Your ‘Why’

When we are unsure of our path, there are always those who there to tell us exactly what we should do. When I would find myself unsure of my next step and in conversations about my future plans, each person had a different plan for me–different advice.

Why? In their plans for me, they didn’t take into account my interests, strengths, or life goals. I took their advice each time, but each time I was more un-happy than the last decision.

Why? I was doing the right stuff and doing what others wanted of me.

Needing a ‘Why’ Statement

This lack of my ‘why’ lead to a deep frustration with work and life. All of my frustrations would lead back to what I thought I ‘should’ be doing. I ‘should’ be working at my job 80 hours each week, I ‘should’ like my career choice, I ‘should’ be happy with my benefits and 401k. So many ‘shoulds’, I couldn’t enjoy my life in the moment or in the future. I was too caught up in what should be happening, that when my expectations weren’t met—my frustration would take over.

Don’t run from the unknown or resign in the comfortable, let this webinar guide you and get you to finding your ‘why’.

 

How this webinar will help you:

  • Increase honest communication with others (Promise it’s not scary!)  
  • Break repetitive/stale behaviors (This will do wonders for your self-esteem!)
  • Actionable Takeaways to Increase your success (You can implement tomorrow!) 
  • Put you on the path to trusting yourself (It feels SOOO Good!) 

 

The ability to be your true self and be successful lies within you.

AND it gets better….

Not only will you enjoy the amazing feeling of being able yourself, you also get to grow as a human being, make a significant impact… AND create success and positive abundance for yourself.

Join The Workshop! Free Gift – Free Workshop

About Your Host –  Over the years, Jess has seen too many women leave the workforce completely due to inflexible work environments and strained work relationships.  She is truly living her best self by helping others overcome workplace challenges to become confident and authentic. Currently, she is enrolled in a Masters of Business program and opened Career Love Collective. She holds a Communications Degree from the University of Wisconsin and a Life Coach Certificate. Jess is on a mission to inspire women to be their most confident self.

Career Love Collective is on a mission to mentor women to overcome workplace challenges to they can be authentic and confident in all stages of life. 

Early Signs of Office Bullying

I was bullied by my boss.

After nearly 6 years, I still feel guilt, shame and anger creeping up while writing to you. I am bringing workplace bullying to light in this post as my way to bring attention to Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. Bringing workplace bullying to the forefront and telling my story is a temporary discomfort but what is more important is to let you know that you are not alone. If you, or someone you know, are facing a deep depression, hopelessness or anger due to a workplace situation, I am here to let you know you can come out stronger on the other side.  

My bully was a person I was excited to work with.

My bully was a women only a few years my senior.

This topic of bullying defined and dominated most of my twenties as a young professional. I was an adult women in the workplace ready to give up. My bully attacked, watched, targeted, tricked, pushed out, worn down and torn down.  I wasn’t personally equipped to handle the constant emotional toll of bullying.  I was on an isolated island needing help. No one had the proper safety raft for me. It was an emotional exhausting island and I was stranded.

Adults are bullied at work and in personal relationships everyday.  I ultimately left the organization I loved. My bully was not held accountable, which allowed the same actions to continue.

While I continued to work at different organizations, it was difficult for me to adjust to a non-bully boss. In meetings with new coworkers, I had internal emotional wounds of bullying. Even though I was in a new environment, I would adjust my reaction as if I was still managed by a bully boss. Bad advice from friends and family was to never disclose the bullying to my new workplace. It took me months of re-training my emotions to react appropriately.  

Early Signs of Office Bullying

Experiences Outside Work

  • You feel like throwing up the night before the start of your work week
  • Frustrated family demands that you to stop obsessing about work at home
  • Your doctor asks what could be causing your skyrocketing blood pressure and recent health problems, and tells you to change jobs
  • You feel too ashamed of being controlled by another person at work to tell your spouse or partner
  • All your paid time off is used for “mental health breaks” from the misery
  • Days off are spent exhausted and lifeless, your desire to do anything is gone
  • Your favorite activities and fun with family are no longer appealing or enjoyable
  • You begin to believe that you provoked the workplace cruelty

Experiences At Work

  • You attempt the obviously impossible task of doing a new job without training or time to learn new skills, but that work is never good enough for the boss
  • Surprise meetings are called by your boss with no results other than further humiliation
  • Everything your tormenter does to you is arbitrary and capricious, working a personal agenda that undermines the employer’s legitimate business interests
  • Others at work have been told to stop working, talking, or socializing with you
  • You are constantly feeling agitated and anxious, experiencing a sense of doom, waiting for bad things to happen
  • No matter what you do, you are never left alone to do your job without interference
  • People feel justified screaming or yelling at you in front of others, but you are punished if you scream back
  • HR tells you that your harassment isn’t illegal, that you have to “work it out between yourselves”
  • You finally, firmly confront your tormentor to stop the abusive conduct and you are accused of harassment
  • You are shocked when accused of incompetence, despite a history of objective excellence, typically by someone who cannot do your job
  • Everyone — co-workers, senior bosses, HR — agrees (in person and orally) that your tormentor is a jerk, but there is nothing they will do about it (and later, when you ask for their support, they deny having agreed with you)
  • Your request to transfer to an open position under another boss is mysteriously denied

Retrieved from http://www.workplacebullying.org/individuals/problem/early-signs/

Now I see I gave too much power to my bully. My sense of self was wrapped up in my work, pleasing others. My bully took advantage of those two situations.

If you are being bullied, it’s not okay. Bullying is not normal office behavior. A boss is not allowed to be your bully. Find your voice. Stand up for yourself. Career Love Collective is here to help you find your purpose. We empower you to do amazing things by being you. You don’t have to change who you are, you need to BE who you are to make an impact. 

XOXO,

Jess

 

Additional information can be found with these organizations

Workplace Bullying: www.workplacebullying.org

Suicide Prevention Awareness https://www.nami.org/Get-Involved/Awareness-Events/Suicide-Prevention-Awareness-Month

FREEBIE: How I Reached My goals In 6 months  {Planner Giveaway}    

I place a fun event on the calendar to help me to stay motivated. Sometimes we go to baseball games in the summer or we plan a trip in the winter to go to a warmer climate and beat the winter blues.

Having goals in place keeps me motivated and planning allows for future flexibility. Putting the two together is a hyper-machine for making things happen. If you are reading this article, you are ready to take the next step in your goal setting methods and take your planning into hyper drive.

I created an exclusive personal planner for you from my failures and successes at goal setting by combining SMART goals and weekly planning.  ‘SMART goals’ are goals that are measurable and attainable in a predetermined amount of time. In the planner, you as the goal creator, have the opportunity to create a goal for the week that is achievable, the calendar breaks down the goal into smaller daily actions making the goal achievable.

>>>>HECK YES, I WANT A FREE GOAL SETTING PLANNER!<<<<<

Goals are always a daunting task, best saved for after breakfast. Okay, now that I had breakfast–onto the goal planning….right after lunch….catching my drift? Goal planning is easy to put off because it is so massive.

The weekly planner system allows you to breakdown your goals into micro-tasks, in small easy to accomplish tasks that add up to large goals. With this system I accomplished my BIGGEST goals in 6 months.

 

Jess’ No No’s of Goal Setting     

 

Write down your Goals

  • I know, this sounds so basic. But hear me out….writing down a goal gives life to your dream, making it real. Once you write down your goal you don’t have to remember your goal. Not a pen and paper type of person? Get creative and creative a vision board. My vision board was as easy as cutting out pictures from a magazine on a cork board. I placed it above my desk and looked at it everyday. My goals gave me a reason to keep going and not stop on the mundane ‘day to day’.  I busted each goal in 6 months with a vision board to keep me on task.

 

Setting Unrealistic Goals  

  • You might have heard this saying, ‘you can’t fit 10 gallons of water in a 5 gallon bucket’. Unrealistic goals are like the 10 gallons of water–you can’t achieve the goal within an unattainable amount of time (the 5 gallon bucket). When we set unrealistic goals and get to the end of our pre-determined time, if we haven’t accomplished the goal we become upset at ourselves and those around us.  That’s not fair to us or people around us. Setting goals that are honest is the best to keep you on track so you don’t stall.

 

No Follow Through

  • We always have best of intentions. No one wakes up in the morning trying to sabotage themselves. It’s through our actions or inaction that sabotages our follow through. For example, behavior such as not following through on an assignment at work can become an accepted habit. Holding ourselves accountable is tricky stuff and can become habit if not addressed quickly.

Career Love Collective is on a mission to empower all women to be their best self and reach their fullest potential. Wanna chat over a latte or skype? I wanna get to know you, and what makes you…well YOU. Sign up for a free 30 minute assessment and let’s reach your goals together!

Don’t forget, click here for your FREE goal busting planner.

XOXO,

Jess   

Reframing is at the Heart of Resilience

Once a week I volunteer with a local women’s advocacy organization. I mainly help in the childcare center. This usually consists of reading books, coloring or playing pretend cooking with toddlers for a few hours.

Lately, the amount of babies we have to watch is more than usual, so I have been helping where I can in the nursery area.

Some babies are just learning to walk. It’s so special to have the opportunity to watch their progress. Most days they are very unsteady on their feet, trying to grasp onto any object around them for steady footing. Sometimes they bump their arm or their face. Other times they land hard on their backside.

What matters most is how the child gets up to the next move. When their face bumps a chair, do they start crying immediately with a gut wrenching cry, or do they get jolted a bit, looking perplexed with the chair and crawl away to climb another chair.

Resiliency is all about the bounce-back and finding the strength within yourself to overcome. As Hara Estroff Marano notes in “The Art of Resilience”, resilient people do not let adversity define them. They find resilience by moving towards a goal beyond themselves, transcending pain and grief by perceiving bad times as a temporary state of affairs.

Marano goes on to say resilience can also be cultivated. It’s possible to strengthen your inner self and your belief in yourself, to define yourself as capable and competent. It’s possible to fortify your psyche. It’s possible to develop a sense of mastery.

It is also possible to be hurt and to rebound at the same time. We human beings are complex enough psychologically to accommodate the two. What the resilient do is refrain from blaming themselves for what has gone wrong. In the language of psychology, they externalize blame. And they internalize success; they take responsibility for what goes right in their lives.

Psychologist Edith Grotberg, Ph.D., believes that everyone needs reminders of the strengths they have.

She urges people to cultivate resilience by thinking along three lines:

I Have: strong relationships, structure, rules at home, role models; these are external supports that are provided;

I Am: a person who has hope and faith, cares about others, is proud of myself; these are inner strengths that can be developed;

I Can: communicate, solve problems, gauge the temperament of others, seek good relationships—all interpersonal and problem-solving skills that are acquired.  

Just as a little one is faced with the challenge of learning to walk without ever done it before, adults are faced with unanticipated road blocks each day. I am here to be your reminder that you can overcome any road block. Adults have the option to choose their state of mind in any situation at work or home.

The time is now for you to be your best self. In all of our services Career Love Collective provides unbiased communication to get you back on track. We practice reframing, it is at the heart of resilience. It is a way of shifting focus from the cup half empty to the cup half full. Take steps to ensure your future by investing in your future career development.   

Take time each morning to remind yourself “I Have…I Am… I Can”.

XOXO,

Jess